Monthly Archives: August 2009

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Stressed or Pissed

I realize this may not be the nicest title for a blog post but it came out of a conversation I had with my daughter this week.  I really liked her honesty in the conversation and the title came from her mouth (so I’m off the hook!).

I had been doing some reading on coaching and was processing with her some of what I had been thinking about.   One of the things was about learning to live in the moment.   We interpret the events of our lives internally.  Some of us spend a lot of time in the internal world.  As a result we struggle to live in the moment. We are constantly unpacking events, thinking about what is next or reliving the past.  We can spend so much time doing this that we miss out on what is here and now.  It is hard to focus and just be.

We become worried about the future and consumed by what if. Or we constantly revisit choices we made and live with regret.  As I was talking to my daughter about it she said that was exactly what she does and as a result of worrying about her future she was stressed and when she thought about decisions that she had made that had led her to where she is she feels ‘pissed’.

I think this all has an impact on our joy. We become discontent because we aren’t who we thought we should be. We aren’t living up to our full potential, etc.  Our own thoughts condemn us.   It takes time and effort to free ourselves from this habit of living in the past or the future.

Jesus tells us to consider the lillies.  Stop and smell the flowers we might say today. Look at the reality around us.  “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or many not happen tomorrow.” (Matthew 6:28 The Msg)

It isn’t easy to give our attention to right now.  Even as I write this email notifications are popping up and fading in the corner of my screen.  My mind is flooded with things I should or could be doing.  At the end of the day when I lay in bed and think about the day I can be stressed about what didn’t get done or pissed about the choices I made.  Or I can let it go and attend to where God was at work in my day and find consolation in knowing that there is an alternative to stressed or pissed.

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Shabbat Shalom

One of the great surprises for me after my niece converted to Judaism and married a great Jewish guy was how much I enjoy being invited to participate in celebrations with her new family.

Today was a baby naming service at her shul.  It was a long service being part of Shabbat.  There were many things I didn’t understand and many things that felt ritualistic as well.  In the midst of it though it seems like the divisons between sacred and secular are not the same as in my evangelical Christian culture.  At her wedding blessing were said throughout the reception. We tend to have the religious service and then the reception after the ‘religious’ part is over.

Today at the meal following the service people would grab a piece of bread and just pray a special blessing with someone or on their own and then eat.  It happens without missing a beat.

The service itself had an informality with the formality.  Lots of greeting when people arrived (and people seemed to arrive all the way through it). Lots of talking back and forth and turning around to look at other people, etc.

What I really loved though was how the whole family is involved.  During the baby naming (our equivalent to a baby dedication) all the other children in the family are present and even the grandparents are up at the front with this group of people who are singing and praying together.  After the name is pronounced the whole congregation sings Mazel Tov!

Maybe it is just because it is so different from what I’m used to but at every Jewish meal or wedding I’m invited to I leave with an understanding of how special this culture is and how important family is within it.  The next time we have a baby dedication at our church I’d like to see all the friends and family up at the front – not just the parents.  And then how about a little back slapping and cheering after?  Let’s try and blur those lines between the sacred and secular.

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Church – What is it good for?

We just began three weeks of vacation. That means three weeks away from the demands of ministry. Three Sunday’s without church.  After 23 years as the ‘pastor’s wife’  I find the break welcome.  And I know I’m not alone.

Have you ever had the experience of waking up on a Sunday morning and feeling like not only would you rather stay home from church but also that it would be more beneficial to your spiritual well being?  If you have you will enjoy Larry Crabb’s latest book Real Church.

Crabb tackles a tough issue – why do so many of us feel like giving up on church?  We know the church in North America is in transition and like many transitions it is a chaotic and creative time.  New churches pop up all the time and new emphasis is given to different facets of Christian faith with regularity.

In the first section of the book, Crabb looks at the questions, “Why should I go to church?”  He offers three answers to the question that are reasons why many people go to church. In section II, he discusses what would make him go to church.   And in the third section of the book he delves deeper into the marks of a church he wants to be part of.

Usually I resist books that offer a critique of the church because they focus on the negative and what the church isn’t.  In my city, we have churches for people who don’t like churches, churches without ‘walls’ and churches for people who don’t like contemporary music or do like contemporary music. The saints seem to know what they want and sadly it often has nothing to do with Crabb would consider the key marks of a real church.  Too often what we want seems to be driven with being viewed as ‘cool’ by external marks (where we meet, how we dress, what type of music we have, etc.)

When I read Real Church I was happy to discover that Larry Crabb was trying to describe what type of church would resonate with him. He was trying to paint a picture for us of what church can be and how that would nourish us in the places we need to be nourished.  I think most of us want the same thing as Larry Crabb.

There is a lot to think about here.  I like how Crabb addresses the ‘missional’ movement and talks about what he likes about it and what concerns him. I’ve been going to church by choice for over 25 years.  I’ve seen lots of trends come and go and like many I’m not eager to jump on another bandwagon.  I like that Crabb presents a balanced view here.

If deep in your heart you really don’t want to give up on church read this book. It will give you a necessary vision of what you may have lost sight of but still believe is possible. That and three weeks away from church might just be enough!